My Little Pony Friendship is Delicious
by ijustwriteokay
Summary: In which the ponies discover how wonderful friendship tastes at Rarity's dinner party!


It was a gorgeous, sunny day in Equestria. Everypony was awake and buzzing about their daily lives, shopping, playing with friends, baking cupcakes - you name it. There was not one pony without a spring in its hoof and a smile on its face. Today, the pony with the biggest smile, was Rarity. Rarity had decided that today, she was to invite her best pony friends over to her house for dinner, where they could all enjoy a much needed catch-up and good food in each others company. Rarity loved her pony friends so very much, and she knew that tonight she would pull out all the stops in order to make it an evening none of them would forget in a hurry.

Rarity began preparing the dinner table, with only the most stunning combinations of white tablecloth and purple napkins, along with pristine cutlery and plates which shone in the light and lit up the entire room.

"Oh goodness, this is just too splendid!" she cried, and wiped a tear from her eye as she thought of all the smiling faces which would soon be sitting in each chair. Rarity's excitement grew when she heard a knocking on the door. With a spring in her trot, Rarity opened the door to see her tiny purple dragon friend, Spike, smiling up at her bashfully.

"Hey Rarity. I heard you were planning a dinner party. I wanted to ask if you'd like some help." he asked, gazing at her shyly, a pink blush beginning to form on his scaly cheeks.

"Oh Spike, you are such a darling! Of course I could use a helping hand, thank you so much!" Rarity gushed, as she ushered Spike into her home.

The pair were an excellent team. Spike was on chopping duty, and began slicing up some delicious apples for the pie Rarity planned to bake. As Rarity rolled the pastry and Spike continued chopping side by side with Rairty at the kitchen counter, Spike took it upon himself to share with Rarity something very secret, and close to his heart.

"Y'know, Rarity... I, uh... I'd been wanting to talk to you - alone - for a while now."

"About what Spike? You know you can talk to me any time, don't you?" replied Rarity cheerfully.

"Yes, of course! Well, see, Rarity... I'm not so good at speaking my mind, especially when it comes to stuff like this", Spike said, taking a deep, solemn breath, "but today seemed so especially wonderful, and it just feels right? You know?"

"It is a lovely day! But Spike, I do wish you'd stop dancing around the subject, just what is it you want to tell me darling?" chuckled Rarity.

Spike didn't reply straight away, and Rarity realised there was an absence of any sorts of chopping sounds coming from the apples. She paused at rolling the pastry, and looked at Spike. She shied a little in surprise when she realised he was gazing at her, unblinkingly with his emerald green eyes.

"Spike?" Rarity said, her voice hesitant and apprehensive. Spike's stare remained, and he appeared almost glassy and trance-like in appearance. It was unnerving, and Rarity felt herself shiver beneath her shiny coat.

"Ever since I met you, Rarity... I knew you were special. I knew... I knew it had to be you. You're the one."

"Spike, whatever are you talking about?"

The little dragon stepped forward on the counter, and reached to cup Rarity's muzzle in his taloned hand.

"I've fantasized, for so long about you."

"...Spike..." Rarity whimpered, looking away.

"It's your cutie mark. The way you sparkle. You're prettier than even the shiniest jewel. You just look... So delicious."

Without warning, Spike's talons dug into Rarity's soft flesh. Rarity's reared up, her muzzle tearing from Spike's grip and leaving behind trails of ruby red blood. She screamed as Spike lunged towards her, his eyes now lizard-like and locked onto her - his chosen prey.

Rarity screamed, and ran to the door. Before she reached it, she felt Spike crash onto her back and the now familiar feeling of talons breaking into her skin. Rarity dropped to the ground and rolled over, crushing Spike beneath her. He let out a cry of pain and they both heard a sickening "pop". Spike screamed at the top of his lungs and Rarity bolted back to her hooves, but couldn't just leave Spike in agony.

"...Spike...?" Rarity asked cautiously, taking a tentative step towards the floored dragon. His eyes were screwed shut in pain, and he was whining, clutching at his shoulder, which was jutting out at an unnatural angle, the bone now dislodged from its familiar socket.

"Oh no, Spike!" cried Rarity. She moved closer to him, and as she towered above him she saw his eyes flicker open, and his jaw drop to reveal a set of needle-sharp teeth. Without warning, he bit into her leg, and tore a chunk of sweet pony flesh from poor Rarity, and began swallowing it up in merciless bites.

"Why?" screamed Rarity, rearing up, and causing the gushing blood from her cavernous wound to fly across the room, splattering the walls.

Spike was licking his lips, polishing off the remnants of Rarity's juicy leg meat, and preparing to take yet another bite.

"Oh no you don't!" roared Rarity, as she brought her hooves down on Spike's good arm. A sickening crack rang through the air and Spike howled in agony, tears springing to his eyes.

"Rarity... Why... I'm just, so hungry for you..." he croaked. Rarity lowered her face close to his, and to Spike's surprise, he saw a smile begin to spread on Rarity's lips, reaching from cheek to cheek.

"You should have thought about that before you got blood on my walls." she hissed through a gritted, plastered smile. Spike's eyes widened as he saw Rarity raise her hoof once more, and bring it down on his chest, crushing his ribs and sending a wave of pain like he'd never experienced before through his system.

"Oh Spike. Did you really think I had no idea how you felt about me?" giggled Rarity. She laughed as she saw the broken body of the dragon, in a crumpled heap between her two front legs. Spike let out a groan, he was seeing stars and unable to respond, or perhaps even comprehend Rarity's words.

"And you thought, that I'd let something like this get in the way of MY dinner party?!" Rarity's voice rose to a shriek, and her smile vanished as a look of blind, hysterical rage clouded her face.

"Listen, I am sick, SICK of Pinkie Pie throwing the best parties. Do you know how frustrating it is, to live with a pony who upstages you in wowing your other friends ever single time?! Why, it's enough to drive any poor pony completely mad! Not me though. No. I kept my head. You need brains to throw a dinner party that can put Pinky Pie's to shame. Yes... Yes, I kept my wits. I didn't let any of it get to me! See this pony right in front of you? This pony, is a survivor. She'll do whatever it takes to be the best, and stay in the group. And you know what Spike? I think there's a way you can absolve yourself of that prior indiscretion, and regain your honour. But first, allow me to bash your brains out."

As the last few words were spat inches from Spike's face, the purple dragon had enough time to open his eyes to see Rarity retracting a large hoof.

"Rarity, please, I'm begging you, please, no!" Spike wept.

"Goodbye Spike." answered Rarity, slamming her hooves down hard into his face, splitting his skull open and spurting bright pink dragon brains across the floor in a massive bloody streak.

"Oh yes, Spike, you'll do PERFECTLY!" cried, Rarity, happily pummeling what remained of Spike's face hard into her kitchen floorboards.

"I can't wait to get to Rarity's!" yipped Pinkie Pie, as she trotted ahead of her pony friends excitedly.

"Me neither", replied Twilight Sparkle, "but I can't help but wonder where Spike is. I haven't seen him all day. I thought he'd be joining us."

"Don't fret so much, Sugarcube." reassured Applejack. Twilight nodded to her friend and smiled.

"Just be prepared you guys", warned Rainbow Dash, "Rarity isn't the best of cooks." she laughed.

"Don't be so mean! We're going to have an amazing time. Rarity has made a great effort for us, and we must all show our appreciation." scolded Fluttershy.

The group made their way to Rarity's. Pinkie Pie raced to the door and began rapping on it with her hoof, barely containing her excitement. The door opened to reveal Rarity, looking somewhat flustered, but nevertheless still her elegant, composed self.

"Hello everypony! Please, come in, I cannot wait to get this dinner party started!" she exclaimed, ushering her pony friends through the door and into the dining area.

The ponies took their places at the table as Rarity left them to prepare her greatly anticipated apple pie in the kitchen. They began conversing lightheartedly, and relaxing in the ambience of the warm glow of candlelight.

"Rarity has been gone for a while, do you think she'd mind if we poured our own drinks?" questioned Rainbow Dash.

The ponies looked in unison towards the large jug in the centre of the table, and licked their lips with thirst.

"I'm sure it's fine, I'll pour." replied Applejack, who filled each pony's glass.

"Bleh! This stuff doesn't taste like apple juice... It's... So sour!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, as she spat a fountain of apple scented mist through the air.

"Pinkie! It's just a little stronger than we're used to, that's all. I think it's rather nice." laughed Fluttershy, who took a long drink of her juice.

Unbeknownst to the ponies, Rarity had been watching them intently for the past ten minutes. A wide, crooked grin began to play upon her lips, as she waited in anticipation for what was inevitably about to happen. The ponies were beginning to loosen up, the cider she'd put in the jug was doing its job. In just a little while, they'd be tipsy enough to fully enjoy the main course.

Pinkie pie realised she did quite enjoy the mysterious drink - it made her so silly and happy that she jumped onto the table and began dancing to a melody only she could hear. The other ponies were too busy laughing at her to realise she was messing up the oh so carefully placed cutlery and plates.

"Dinner, is served!" Rarity cried, making Pinkie Pie fall from the table in fright. In less than a second she was rolling on the floor with laughter, and eventually dragged herself back to her place at the table.

"Whatcha made for us, Rarity?" asked Rainbow Dash, cackling in high spirits.

"Oh, it's nothing special, just a pie. Of course it won't be as good as the food Pinkie Pie makes, but I tried my very best darlings." smiled Rarity, as she began plating up slices of mysterious purple pie to her fellow ponies.

"What... What flavour is it?" asked Twilight, sniffing her slice of pie in confusion.

"Oh, it's a secret recipe. Just try it darling, I'm sure you'll just adore it."

The ponies fell silent as they began chewing mouth fulls of pie. It was rubbery, and didn't taste at all fruity like an apple pie. Being the kind-hearted ponies that they were, they continued to force down forkfulls, for their dear friend who'd made such a special effort for them. Rarity herself was digging in, and eating with enthusiasm, smacking her lips and taking large mouthfuls which the other ponies could easily hear being chewed around her mouth. It was an uncomfortable situation for the other ponies, but they gritted their teeth, and eventually, finished their plates.

Rainbow Dash was the last to finish, and the other ponies could see the pain on her face as she struggled to keep the food down. Rarity seemed unaware of her fellow pony's discomfort, but cocked her head when she and the other ponies heard a loud crunch from between Rainbow Dash's teeth.

Rainbow Dash yelped in surprise, and reflexively spat the offending piece of food onto her plate. She blinked. What lay there, on the cold white porcelain, was none other than a purple scale.

"Rarity..." Rainbow Dash started, now entirely sober. The other ponies gasped and stood up from their places, turning to Rarity for some other explanation.

"Did you like your pie, ladies? The taste of friendship is incomparable to any other. Wasn't little Spike just delicious?" she grinned, her face twisting into what the other ponies saw as an expression of pure lunacy.

"Oh my God! What have I done?" screamed Twilight, who began trying to force a hoof down her throat to bring up the remains of her dearest companion, tears welling in her eyes as she choked and heaved to no avail.

Fluttershy stood in utter shock, unable to process the depravity of the situation and eventually began ramming her head into the brick wall, trying to rid her mind of the horror she had witnessed. Thick red blood began to spring from her head, and spatter the wall, but she continued to beat her head, thud, thud, thud, whilst murmuring "no" under her breath.

Pinkie Pie and Applejack had fallen to the floor in each other's arms, clutching desperately to each other and shaking violently, screaming and howling with terror and disgust.

"It's all over, it's all over!" screamed Pinkie Pie, as she mourned the loss of her sanity and the happiness of her fellow ponies.

"We're monsters, we're monsters, we deserve to die!" shrieked Applejack, who launched at Pinkie Pie, and with a sickening noise, ripped Pinkie's throat out. Pinkie screamed, but it was soon extinguished as she began to gurgle and choke on her own blood, and became pale in AppleJack's arms, as Applejack made desperate shushing noises to her dear friend. As Pinkie's eyes glazed over and the little pink pony gave out her last breath, Applejack began to bite and tear at her own flesh, trying to find an artery to sever. She wept and screamed in agony as her teeth ripped through flesh and muscle, hitting as many veins as she could. Applejack and Pinkie's blood began to mingle, and the pair lay lifeless in a dark pool which continued to spurt and spray the other ponies.

"What have you done, Rarity?" cried Rainbow Dash, who leapt forward and pounced on the evil pony, striking her heavily with her hooves. Blood began to prickle to the surface of Rarity's now busted lip, but it in no way curbed the manic smile carved into her face. Rarity threw her head back in howls of laughter, and Rainbow Dash backed away from her in order to wretch onto the floor. She looked around to see that now Fluttershy lay on the floor against the wall, her head nothing more than a bludgeoned, slimy pulp, which began to slowly drip from the wall onto her crumpled, lifeless corpse. Twilight Sparkle was still wailing in agony as she brought up the remnants of Spike, who she tried to mould back together again, so that she could once more be with her precious familiar.

"You see, isn't this the most marvellous of dinner parties?!" Rarity shrieked.

Rainbow Dash pawed her hoof, and began to vault towards Rarity, intent on knocking her out at the very least. Rarity remained where she was, laughing and giggling with glee. Rainbow Dash was mere inches from her, ready to smack her down in seconds.

Raritys laughter stopped. She stared Rainbow Dash in the eye, a look of pure emptiness now on her face. She turned her head down, and before Rainbow Dash could halt herself, drove her white horn deep into Rainbow Dash's skull. Raritys eyes remained locked on the blue pony as she saw the light fade from her once sparkling eyes. Rainbow Dash fell to the ground in a ribbon of blood spurting from the hole in the centre of her forehead. Rarity's pristine coat was now covered in the blood of her dearest friends, and she felt its warmth to be like the most wonderful hug she'd ever felt. But she felt the absence of one pony. Indeed, she saw that Twilight Sparkle remained with her pulp of Spike in the corner of the room, desperately trying to remodel his half-digested flesh back to a recognizable state.

"Twilight, darling, you know it's very impolite to play with your food." cautioned Rarity, slowly stepping closer.

Twilight looked up at her, tears in her eyes, and a lost, hopeless expression on her face.

"But... But it's Spike..." she wept, turning again to the sticky purple pulp.

"Yes, and you were supposed to eat him. It's very rude to not eat the food your hostess spends all day preparing you." growled Rarity, a small smile flickering at the corners of her mouth.

Twilight looked up at her in fear, as she finally noticed the gore-covered pony was only mere inches away from her.

"Eat it." Rarity commanded. Twilight cried out and shook her head, though she was shaking with fear.

"You see your friends over there? They all ate Spike. Look how happy they all are!" exclaimed Rarity, looking back at the abattoir of pony littering her dining room with a beam.

"See, they're all just playing and having fun! Now it's your turn!"

Twilight looked at the scene. Why couldn't she see what Rarity saw? Had she gone insane? Were her friends really frolicking together and enjoying the party?

"I... I need to eat?" whispered Twilight Sparkle through gritted teeth.

"Yes, darling! Eat, eat it all!" roared Rarity, throwing her head back with laughter.

Twilight looked down at the purple, vomit-covered mess in front of her. She lowered her head to it, and shuddered as the smell of stomach acid and flesh hit her nose. The little pony screwed her eyes shut, and began devouring the pile before her, gagging and retching but forcing it down all the same. Snot began to spill from her flared nostrils and her eyes were prickled with tears, but she ate and ate and did not stop. Rarity howled with glee and began to dance with joy at the sight. Twilight was now covered in vomit and feeling like she was on the verge of heaving once more, but with a final burp had managed to keep down the final bite. She breathed heavily, and righted herself.

The scene before her was no different. All of her friends lay still and lifeless, covered in their own blood and ripped flesh in this horror of a dinner party. The only thing which broke the silence of her dead friends, was Rarity's crazed laughter. Twilight gazed at the pony for a moment in sickening terror, then, before she could comprehend it, felt her throat explode with laughter. The two ponies began to dance over the corpses of their once closest friends, singing and laughing as they had never done before.

It took Rarity by complete surprise when she felt Twilight tear one of her ears off and devour it before her very eyes. Rarity screamed, and in return tore an ear from Twilight Sparkle, chewing the furry, cartilage-full meat around her mouth with relish.

What happened next was the final moments of the two remaining members of the pony group. The pair began to tear chunks out of one another, stripping flesh from bone and limb from socket. In mere moments, they were on the floor, screaming in agony and writhing in torment, though still lunging towards one another for another mouthful. Pieces of pony were strewn across the room as less and less of their skin remained on their bodies. Blood streaked their mouths as they tore and ripped and gnashed at sweet, bloody flesh.

Eventually they became too full to continue, and lay, circling one another in the centre of the room, surrounded by the carnage of the night.

"Twilight..." groaned Rarity in her final moments, "... Hasn't this just been... ...The most marvellous dinner party...?"


End file.
